Number 2

2
By Alex Ness
January 8, 2023

I've been dealing with enormous back pain from enormous kidney stones that I've been told I cannot pass.  The odd thing is, more than once I had stones I was told so large they can't pass, and after a health event, the next x-ray showed, somehow, they passed. However at this point I've also no pain meds to deal with it. I do have a medicine called Flomax, it causes the kidneys and bladder go into hyperdrive. Hoping to blow out the stone. Or at least make the process go faster. (edit: the kidney stone passed but it turns out the real pain came from Degenerative Disc Disorder.  Holy shit it hurts).

My cat Katya has been loving me, every night and morning. But at night when my cat Katya leaves, my son's darling kitten Isabella jumps on me and makes biscuits on my chest many times per night.  I do not choose this life, the life chose me.

I have dealt with depression my entire life. Therapy helped, so did various meds. But I've lost too many people I love recently to have any emotional reserves to draw upon, and so, I've been struggling with my ability to see the future. I do trust that I'll come out the other side. But I am not there yet.